So today I broke a high efficiency light bulb and it cut me. I was trying to change it and it wouldn't come out so I grabbed kind of tightly and started to turn... A loud POP came as it shattered in my hand, puncturing my finger in the process. It hurt. And then I got scared because of the mercury.
Needless to say, I'm fine. But I was a little concerned because all of the "clean up" instructions online make it very clear you shouldn't touch the thing with bare hands. Well, in all of the hubbub, I didn't take my morning dose of PhenD. And I felt fine. I was perfectly happy going along with my day, eating what I was supposed to. Sure, I felt more hunger than I have in the last two weeks, but it wasn't a big deal.
Then I got sleepy. Really, really sleepy. And I started to feel pouty. I wanted my mommy or my cat or someone to worry about me and tell me it would be OK. Chelsea asked me if I wanted chocolate and I really did.
But I realized that sure I had a little injury, but what was really affecting me was that I hadn't had my drugs. Uh oh. I am a little dependent on that stuff. It's not like I was super depressed, but I did feel low and mopey. So, I think I'll stay on it for a while until I have a good two days where I don't have to go anywhere and I can sleep all day.
But I also realized something else-- even though I had a perfectly good reason to indulge in chocolate (I was injured! I was tired! I missed Jackie! I deserved candy for goodness sake!) I didn't want it. I had the prescence of mind to realize that what I really wanted was comfort-- not food. And that made it easier to say no.
And then I took my PhenD.
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