Food Rituals

Warning: this is long!!

Hubs and I were talking the other day about what our lives used to be like. I have to say one of the best things about doing this with him is being able to share the experience and bond over it. I guess we're lucky that we can-- a lot of people feel isolated in their dieting experience or even feel sabotaged by those close to them when they try to make a major change. But Hubs and I have each other and we're very supportive of each other.

The BFC used to be a major topic of conversation for us. We were, frankly, a little obsessed with what we could or couldn't eat. We plotted and schemed to eke out every last carb's worth of tastiness. Things aren't like that anymore. Now it's more, "What do we have in the house to cook?" rather than "How many cups of this ice cream can we get away with?" The change was slow, I'm sure. I didn't even notice it happening. But here we are, completely un-obsessed with food.
And thank goodness!

My mother (bless her heart) taught me about food and all its many uses: sustenance, celebration, consolation, shame. She often got caught up in what were like rituals centered around food. A prime example-- Magnum bars. You know, those decadent ice cream bars enveloped in a thick, dark chocolate coating? She loved them! But she didn't just eat them when she felt like it. No, it had to be at a specific time and in a specific way.


Finally! 25lbs!!

Actually, I'm down 26.2lbs now, but I am just so happy to finally be past the 25lb mark! It has been a long struggle, but SO worth it! I've been BFC'ing for 11 months, so that works out to about 0.6lbs/week. Slow, I know, but still happening, so I'm satisfied.

Now, you all know that I've been plateaued for a long time and repeatedly. The first time, Hubs and I figured it was all the ice cream because we weren't counting it right. (And, frankly, no matter what you're eating, if you're having it all the time it's probably not good!) So, that got me back on track for a while. Then - BAM! - another plateau after Christmas. This went on for months-- there was some up and down, but it all ended up with me at the same place.

About a month ago, Hubs and I took a look at what we were actually eating and I discovered that I was probably one carb over every day because I was getting sloppy. So, this is where I made a tactical change that has made all the difference. Ready for this? Here goes: I aimed for protein at breakfast with one carb, veggies and protein for lunch with one carb, then a one carb dinner and my favorite chocolate dessert (another carb).

"But wait!" I hear you say, "That's only 5 carbs!" True, but here was my thinking-- First, I almost always over eat the carbs a tiny bit, so I'm getting more than I think I am. Second, if I'm totally dying for a snack between lunch and dinner (3 o'clock munchies, anyone?), I'll have enough carbs to not worry too much.

And it worked!

Now, my new thing is to stick with the plan, but to also cut back my chocolate a little. I almost always had 3-4 squares each night (a full carb's worth). Now I'm aiming for just 2 squares because I want to make sure I'm keeping within the sugar count and I'd like to keep my momentum going.


Time slips away

No way. There is no way that it has been 7 weeks since the MPRE and 7 weeks since I've posted. How did that happen?

Well, the good news is that I haven't gained any weight. And I've stayed on track. The bad news I haven't lost anything. But I'm OK with that in this current moment.

Since I posted I found out that I did not pass the exam. I guess I'm too unethical to be a lawyer! Haha. But seriously I'll have to take the test again in August. Ugh! This time I'll study extra hard! I don't think I took that test as seriously as I should. The first time I took it (5 years ago) I thought it was a piece of cake and I passed. So, goes to show you that you forget a lot in 5 years. Like the fact that I took an entire class to prepare for the test the first time around. Yeah... I need to find a course or something this time.

Also, the doctor has started me on Clomid. We want to have a baby and it's been just about a year that we've been trying. The whole story of how I ended up being seen by this particular doctor is kind of crazy, but within 10 minutes she had me pegged: I wasn't ovulating every month and when I did it was too late in my cycle. So, drugs it is!

I've been on it for three days now and I've already had some side effects. Some worse than others. I expected to be a raging monster, but I'm only a little more weepy than usual. The surprises for me were the hot flashes (I'm like menopausal over here!) and the THIRST! Constant, all the time, doesn't matter if I just drank a whole liter of water I want more- thirst. Which means I feel like I live my life in the ladies room at work these last few days. But it also means I've dropped 3lbs. So, silver lining. Although, I was retaining water already, so it's not a net loss.

I'm a little nervous because one of the listed side effects is weight gain. I really do not need that to happen! I'm hoping that the women that happens with they are emotional eaters or something. So, it's not just a medical eventuality, it's more something that can be prevented. That's my hope anyway!

So, that's what up with me. Oh-- and what up with all the Ghirardelli 86% chocolate being sold out everywhere?! Is this happening anywhere else or is it just my podunk neck of the woods?

I'm off to check up on you all!